One part of running a recording studio is dealing with the booking of studio time, fielding the phone calls and talking with "potential clients". Most of this is fine, chatting with folks about what they are planning to do, what their needs are and how you can work together. It takes some time out of your day if you're an owner/operator, but you just have to do it and there's nothing better than a full calendar. But sometimes you get calls from folks that either are so far removed from reality or so confused about what a recording studio does that it's a bit confusing to deal with them. Here's my list of warning signs that have come up while I was dealing with potential clients, and what you can do if this happens to you.
1. "It's not really a band, it's more of a project." This one can go both ways, as a very talented person can pull people (or themselves) together and do something no "band" could achieve. Unfortunately, many times this is something akin to a house built out of toothpicks, and just as fun to try and construct. Pick carefully.
2. "My sister and I are singers and we're really good." This is usually delivered in a high, pre-pubescent voice. This is because you are listed in the phone book. The child will have no music to sing to and has learned her chops by singing along with the radio. When you call back you will get a confused adult on the line. Ignore.
3. "We're so tight that we'll knock out 12 songs in a couple of hours." While a clueless male might boast of his sexual prowess while drunk in a bar with friends he shouldn't bother to tell his doctor. Book carefully, with extra time in reserve.
4. "When you hear these songs you'll want to work on this." Usually voiced with the implication that you may forgo your already ridiculously low engineering fee. Book them, but find another engineer to do the session.